My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
