what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
