I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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