I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize