u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
