i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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