Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
