i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Someone signed my nipple.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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