My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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