i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
