This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
