sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
