he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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