What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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