I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize