He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I have already put on my inside pants.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
