he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
