How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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