the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
