And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
