I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
