I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
