question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Also, beer. Big fan.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
