Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
