Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
