Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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