I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
