hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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