So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize