I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize