Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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