Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
