Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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