I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
