so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
