I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
