we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
