you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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