Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
