The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
