he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
