Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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