the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Dicks are not precious.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
