2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
