I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
