Got a toothbrush?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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