u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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