how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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