I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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