By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
