That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize