ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
