So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
