At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
