4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
