I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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