Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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