This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
