I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize